5 Ways to Talk About Money with Your Spouse

It's important to talk about money with your spouse, but in a way that isn't confrontational or accusatory. Here are 5 ways to talk civilly about money.Money is one of the top things couples fight about, and there’s no need to wonder why. Financial arguments tend to arise when one spouse is a spender, while the other is a saver.

Another big conflict is when both spouses make poor money choices and those money choices are bring stress in the marriage.

Whatever your financial and marital situation is at the moment, keep these tips in mind when you talk about money with your spouse.

1. Schedule Meetings

It might seem silly to schedule and stick to an assigned meeting time for money. However, this will help both spouses get in the right financial mindset. You can even make it as part of your date night and get coffee while you “go over the books”.

A weekly meeting can do wonders for your budget and your finances. Go over financial goals, the budget, bills, upcoming costs, and financial bad habits. The point of regular meetings is to keep you both accountable to the budget and on the same page.

2. Practice Grace

Coming at your spouse with your finger pointed will only cause an argument. The truth is both spouses are prone to making mistakes in a marriage. We’re all human and can’t be perfect or even close in many areas.

If your spouse has issues with finances, find a way to have grace with them. Remind yourself of the areas you fall short in that your spouse might extend grace to you in, such as housecleaning, working too many hours, etc.

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3. Budget for Fun Money

If your budget is too tight, then everyone involved is going to feel deprived and possibly end up overspending. Budgeting fun money for both you and your spouse gives both of you some wiggle room. Allowing yourselves $50-$100 (or more, it depends on your budget) to blow each month will also free both of you up from feeling guilty for buying things.

4. Seek Professional Help if You Need To

The idea of a marriage counselor scares couples. However, marital counseling is not just for couples on the verge of divorce. Marriage counseling is a smart tool for healthy couples, too.

Having a third unbiased person listen in on your financial woes can help you and your spouse keep a level head and figure out your financial situation. A professional marriage counselor is better equipped to help you gain perspective.

5. No Secrets

Allow your spouse to come clean about any hidden charges, purchases, or credit cards without you becoming angry. Many times one partner will hide purchases out of fear of the other partner becoming upset or furious.

An outrage over a purchase will only reinforce that habit, and it will make the situation worse. Give your spouse a chance to come clean without any penalties, such as your anger or silent treatment. If they do reveal hidden debt, express to them calmly that it would be better for your finances if nothing was a secret.

Then come up with a plan to attack the debt together so you can work toward that goal as a couple. If your partner continues to have secrets that affect your finances, it might be time to consider counseling.

Don’t let your marriage become victim to financial woes. Work together with your spouse to reach your financial goals so you can get to the point where you can use money more freely on exciting bucket list goals like traveling.

How do you discuss money with your spouse? Was there a learning curve? Have you ever hid transactions from your spouse?